Space Dementia
by heartbeat311
Summary: "In her eyes, he saw the end of the world." A look at the one romantic relationship Rorschach ever had...and how it ruined him. *ratings WILL change to M in the future*
1. Chapter 1

NOTE: This whole story (as you might assume from the title) is based off of the song "Space Dementia" by Muse. I HIGHLY recommend you listen to the song and its lyrics, as they are intrinsic to this entire story.

~The Girl~

He had never known her until his last year at the home. She was quiet, dark, and surly, as far as he could tell, with eyes like stars exploding and a smile that could make men weep. He supposed she was beautiful to some, but he'd never looked. Even though she kept to herself, she was always with someone or other, mainly boys but girls came to her, too. She was feared but envied, despised but sought after. None of the people he spoke to ever had anything good to say about her, but he never pursued answers as to why. He tried not to get involved.

But sometimes you get involved whether you like it or not. And even though he'd done well to avoid her over the four years he'd been at the home, his fifth year would become a year he would never forget.

It was raining the day they finally met, and so when the two bodyguards dragged her into his classroom she was soaked from head to toe. Her posture was rigid, her body tensed to make a run for it if their grip on her loosened. Her eyes were narrowed into a fierce glare but the smile on her face seemed almost mischievous. Walter watched her for a moment, unintentionally mystified by the emptiness in her eyes. It wasn't a stupid kind of emptiness. He'd had her in several of his classes and knew she was very intelligent. But her eyes were completely devoid of emotion, save anger and a sharp kind of amusement, which was somehow, in his assessment, akin to hatred.

"Mrs. Hoover. Is this your student?" one of the bodyguards asked, glaring at the old lady as if this was _her _fault.

"Yes," Mrs. Hoover answered reluctantly, throwing the dripping girl a vengeful glare. The girl just smiled back, showing all her teeth. To Walter it looked like she was snarling.

"She was caught outside of the school grounds fighting with some boys from the high school," the guard explained. For the first time, Walter noticed the cut across the girl's forehead. It had stopped bleeding but still gleamed a bright red. Her knuckles, still clenched so tightly that her fists were bone-white, were scraped raw.

"Well, take her up to management then. They'll sort it out there," Mrs. Hoover replied impatiently, waving them away as though brushing off a particularly annoying fly.

"Yes, of course, ma'am. Just thought you'd want to know where your students are," the guard replied, an undercurrent of accusation in his voice.

Walter watched as they dragged the girl away, noticing that she struggled almost without conscious thought, as though it were second nature. Mrs. Hoover continued her lecture, and though he tried to pay attention, he couldn't quite rid his mind of the girl's starburst eyes.

After all of his classes were finished, Walter headed back to Mrs. Hoover's class, permission slip in hand. Every month there was a trip out of the home's boundaries. On these trips, the children were allowed to roam where they pleased throughout New Jersey- as long as they had an administrator with them. Usually Walter avoided these trips, preferring to stay in his room and read the books his roommate, Todd, brought him.

But this month, Walter wanted to go out on his own and get his own books. He'd saved up enough money to get at least three, and he was really looking forward to reading something he'd picked out on his own. Which meant he had to have all of his teacher's and his dorm advisor sign the permission slip.

He entered Mrs. Hoover's room quietly, hesitantly. He had never been in a teacher's room after class before. She was sitting at her desk, grading papers with swift, frantic hands and mumbling to herself. He thought perhaps he should leave and come back later when she didn't seem so busy, but as he was backing away she looked up and noticed him.

"Kovacs," she grumbled, sounding annoyed. "What do you want?"

"Ma'am," Walter greeted her, dipping his head shyly. "Would you sign my permission slip?"

She sighed heavily, as if she'd been asked to do something particularly time consuming on an already hectic schedule. She held out her hand and gave him an impatient look. "Well, give it to me."

Quietly, he handed it to her and watched as she scribbled out the needed information. She was just about to sign her name when there was a knock on the door. Walter turned to see the girl from that morning leaning in, a sarcastic expression drawn across her face. "Mrs. Hoover," she said. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes. Come in, Vanessa," Mrs. Hoover replied, glaring disapprovingly at the girl over the rim of her glasses. The girl- _Vanessa, _he thought- smiled back at her insolently, almost arrogantly, and strolled into the room, sitting on top of the desk nearest Walter. She looked at him, crossing her legs and leaning back, giving him a questioning look.

"Kovacs, right?" she asked. Silently, he nodded, trying to avoid her unnerving gaze. "We had geometry together, yeah?"

"Yes."

Vanessa nodded and then glanced at Mrs. Hoover. "What's she got you in here for? You steal her car keys or somethin'?"

"Vanessa!" Mrs. Hoover said sharply, making Walter jump. "Watch your mouth, young lady."

Vanessa just smiled back with that insolent look on her face. "I didn't curse, Mrs. Hoover. I'm afraid I have nothing to watch," she replied.

"Watch your attitude then. You're liable to be thrown in confinement for a week at the rate your going."

The girl just looked away, still smiling. Walter watched her, wondering what made her so uncaring.

"Kovacs," Mrs. Hoover said and he turned. She held out his permission slip and he took it quietly.

As he turned to leave, Vanessa hopped up from the desk and peered at the slip. "You're going into town, huh?" she asked and then grinned at him. "Maybe I'll join you, yeah?" She nudged him with her elbow. He leaned away, cringing from the contact.

"Vanessa," the teacher barked. "Sit down. Kovacs, you may leave now." Her words were a dismissal. Dipping his head to her, he turned his back on the girl and left.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay. If any of you here have read "Where We Meet" there might be a delay with that story. You see, there once was a girl who wrote on her computer constantly. But, stupidly, she never updated her antivirus software and so now she might lose all her files (and her mind). So, I've had to take a (HOPEFULLY) short hiatus from that story to work on some other plot bunnies. Hopefully you enjoy this one. Pray for me and my files, folks, pretty please! :P And review :)


	2. Chapter 2

NOTE: Please review, I'd like to know if I should continue :)

~ The Fight ~

"Hey, Kovacs!"

Walter turned at the sound of his name, wondering who could possibly want anything to do with him. Though hardly any of the children were outright or blatantly mean to him, they'd never gone out of their way to make friends with him, either.

Vanessa grinned back at him, her starburst eyes gleaming with an emotion Walter couldn't place. He watched her suspiciously. No girl had ever tried talking to him unless they were in class working on an assignment. As she approached she ran a hand down the yellow sundress that simply didn't fit her- it was too bright, too cheerful. It was out of place on her body. He flinched back, looking away quickly.

She came to a stop a few feet from him, still grinning but without any real joy or friendliness. Her piercing eyes looked him over before she spoke, and he fidgeted uncomfortably under her stare. "Where are you going?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and playing with the bottom of her dress with one hand.

Walter looked down, refusing to meet her gaze. "Bookstore," he mumbled quietly.

"Mm, you like to read, huh?"

"Yes."

"Never had much time for reading myself," she replied. "Mom used to make me read all the time. She wanted me to be smart enough to get into a good college and rake in the money. But I never liked reading."

Walter didn't respond. He didn't understand why she was talking to him.

"You don't talk much, do you?" she asked, and though he thought she lowered her voice to make it sound gentle, it just sounded dryly amused.

Searching desperately for a way to rid himself of her, Walter looked up and said, "Thought you were in trouble."

Vanessa smiled at him in a devilish way. "I'm always in trouble," she purred.

"I don't think you're allowed to be here."

"Oh, I'm not," she replied with a shrug, unconcerned. "But I was bored. I hate being locked up in that place. Don't you?" Vanessa started to circle him in a slow but deliberate way. Walter turned with her, making sure he faced her while skillfully avoiding eye contact.

He shrugged vaguely. "I don't mind," he responded quietly.

"Well, _I _mind. Sometimes I just have to get out, you know?" she said and then she grinned at him again. "PlusI wanted to come cuz I knew _you'd _be here."

His skin prickled hotly, embarrassed and uncomfortable and confused. "Why?" he asked defensively, his voice sharp.

Vanessa shrugged, seeming not to notice. "I don't know. I wanted to get to know you. I _like _you," she insisted, giving him an earnest smile. Her starburst eyes glinted.

He glared at her distrustfully. "You don't even know me," he growled.

"Hence the 'wanted to get to know you' part."

"Well, I don't want to know you," he muttered and tried to stalk past her.

She blocked his escape, stepping in front of him. "Why don't you want to know me?" she asked.

"Get out of my way," Walter spat and shoved past her.

She grabbed his arm tightly, digging her long nails into his skin. He whipped around and was confronted with her eyes glaring into his like fire. Her irises glinted and spun, seeming to morph and shift. They were all different colors, a mixture of dark green, hazel, and steely gray. He blinked, trying to look away.

"Why don't you want to know me?" she repeated, and her voice this time sounded hurt, borderline whiny, like a child pouting. Her eyes flashed at him vengefully.

Walter stared at her for a moment longer and then pulled from her grasp. Her nails left long slash marks on his skin. He marched away quickly, leaving her behind him without looking back.

_~ SD ~_

Later that night, after the trip had ended and all the children were in the lunch hall, finishing their dinner, Walter saw her. She walked right past him without even looking at him, staring ahead of her with that piercing gaze. He felt warm with relief. He'd been worried she might try to pursue him once they were back in the home, but it seemed she wouldn't.

He returned to his dinner, eating every morsel. Though the food was nothing to die for, he'd spent years going hungry and felt that no food should be wasted when the opportunity arose to eat it.

It was as he was taking his last bite that the fight broke out behind him. He didn't know how it started- there were fights going on here all the time and their origins seemed unimportant to him. But, when he turned, mildly interested, it soon became clear how it would have to end. The girl was in the middle of the fight, tearing into some boy while another boy hit her repeatedly. The blows didn't seem to distract her at all; her attention was completely focused on the boy she was busily trying to ravage.

Then, finally, the other boy punched her hard in the back, so hard that she collapsed onto the ground, letting out a pained gasp.

Without really knowing what he was doing, Walter jumped up and cannoned into the boy. They flew back into a table, spilling food all over the place. Walter's fists moved quickly but forcefully, focusing mainly on the boy's face but moving every so often down his chest to his stomach. There was no fire in Walter, not like there usually was when he fought. There was just a calm certainty that he was doing the right thing, no matter what he thought about Vanessa. It reminded him vaguely of training for amateur boxing, the only difference being the _boy _as his punching bag.

Finally, hands tried to pull him away. He stopped beating the other boy immediately; there was really no reason to continue. He let his arms fall limply at his side, staring calmly at nothing in particular. He wasn't even breathing heavily; the fight had taken nothing out of him. He felt strangely disappointed.

And then he felt eyes on him and he had to look- he had to see if it was her. Her shifting starburst eyes bore into him when he turned to her. Someone was holding her back, too. "I can fight my own battles, you know," she spat at him, but her lips were pulled back in a triumphant grin.

He blinked at her, confused by her everchanging emotions. What was it that made her feel she had to confuse him?

"Alright, you two, c'mon," the man holding Walter said quietly. His tone was grim and disapproving. Walter wanted to ask why he and Vanessa were in trouble when the other children who'd fought weren't, but he kept his mouth shut and let the man drag him away.

As they were lead down the hall, it was more of a struggle to keep Vanessa from bolting than it was to keep Walter. Though he would have run if given the chance, he also didn't feel he needed to run. He had nothing to hide. He'd jumped into the fight to help Vanessa, that was all. But Vanessa just seemed content to struggle constantly the entire way to the administrator's office. The more he observed her in a quiet, unobtrusive way, the more he thought she did it, not really to escape, but just to inconvenience the man who held her.

Once they had made it to the office, the man shoved Vanessa in a chair but kept his hands on her shoulders to make sure she stayed there. Walter pulled away from the one who held him and sat down on his own, glowering slightly at the man and silently daring him to touch him now their walk of shame was over.

The administrator, a pencil of a woman, her hair tied back in a bun so tight her face seemed stretched, looked at both of them from across her desk. "Vanessa," she said lightly, dipping her head to the girl.

"Miss Togle," Vanessa replied, smiling at the woman.

"What brings you here today?" Miss Togle asked, motioning toward the two men with a flick of her hands. After a slight hesitation, they both left, closing the door quietly behind them.

"Got in a fight," Vanessa replied with a shrug, still grinning.

"With who? This boy here?" Miss Togle asked, pointing at Walter without looking at him. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, put out that she would accuse him so openly.

"No," Vanessa said, shaking her head. "It was with Ruben Green and Thomas Stuckey, and a few other kids I didn't see. This kid here just jumped in to help me." Walter looked up hesitantly and she smiled back at him. It wasn't a comforting smile, but he thought she meant it to be.

"Okay, and what was the fight about?" Togle inquired, looking down at some papers on her desk and sounding bored.

Vanessa shrugged. "He just pissed me off, that's all," she replied.

Walter looked at her sharply. She was lying. Though many people probably couldn't have seen through her, he could. She seemed to be a pro, but so was he. But he kept his mouth shut and looked away. Whatever reason she had for lying was her own business.

Togle sighed heavily in exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger and closing her eyes tightly. "You can't pick a fight with someone just because they piss you off," she said. Walter thought it sounded like they'd had this discussion more than once.

"It's a free country, isn't it?" Vanessa replied sarcastically, fixing Togle with what Walter knew was a stunner of a gaze.

But Togle seemed prepared. With the amount of time Walter figured Vanessa spent in here, it didn't really surprise him. "You know you have a week's worth of detention now, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just one more week to add to the list."

"And that goes for you as well, Mister...?" Togle eyed him, puzzled, as though seeing him for the first time.

"Kovacs," Walter mumbled. Though inwardly he was screaming with outrage, he refused to plead with this woman. He would accept his unjust punishment in silence.

"And I hope you learn your lesson, Kovacs. I don't want to see you in here again," she scolded and then motioned for them both to leave.

Walter glared at Vanessa, who smiled back at him as if she didn't notice the anger in his eyes. _You won't, _he promised in his head. Right then, he vowed never to get himself in trouble for this girl again.


	3. Chapter 3

~ The Kiss ~

His first day of detention started the day after he'd been told his punishment. The detention hall was usually filled with children but lately the number of children there had thinned. The number of children in the entire home had thinned; there'd been an outflux of children as more and more of them were adopted. This year had been a good year for the orphanage.

Most children looked forward, with either anticipatory glee or nervous skepticism, to being adopted. Walter was not one of them. He wasn't attached the home but he wasn't particularly in love with idea of having someone pretend to care about him, either. Especially since those who adopted children from Lillian Charlton had preconceived notions of the adoptees as "problem children who needed strict discipline". He didn't like people judging him unfairly. He didn't appreciate being looked at as a liability or a pity case.

So when he walked into the detention hall that day, he was disappointed but not really surprised to see that it would just be him and the girl. She looked up and flashed him a mischeivous grin, her strange eyes glinting. He ignored her, glancing at the teacher who would oversee their detention today. It was not someone he recognized; the man was a balding, nervous man with a large paunch and thin-rimmed glasses. He stared suspiciously at Walter, as if expecting him to do something unscrupulous. It was clear this man did not enjoy his shift as detention hall monitor.

"Sit down, Mr. Kovacs," the man ordered in a thin, reedy voice. Walter struggled not to curl his lip in distaste. He hated mousy men, it was disgraceful. Men could be shy but they should never be embarrassingly skittish as was the case here in this pathetic man.

"Today I want you two to clean this room. It's filthy," the mouse begins but Vanessa raises her hand, interrupting him. The smirking curve of her lip suggests an ulterior motive. "Yes, Miss Spinner?" His voice is obviously reluctant, as if he's had to deal with the girl before.

"Well, Mr. Schneider, I was just wondering why you expect _us _to clean this room. Don't you think that would be a job fit for a janitor?" she inquired, sounding pleased with herself.

"Because this is your punishment, Miss Spinner. If you don't want to clean classrooms then I suggest you avoid getting into trouble," Schneider replied. He tried to sound firm but his voice shook. "Now, there is something else I need to be doing right now besides babysitting you two. I want this room spotless when I get back, even the floor. I trust you two will be fine until I return?" he asked, looking at Vanessa and Walter skeptically.

Vanessa smiled at him, her eyelids carefully lowered in a taunting way. "Don't worry, Mr. Schneider. When we're done with this room, you won't even recognize it," she promised. Walter tried not to smirk at the double meaning in her words.

Schneider grimaced but retreated quickly from the room, looking half-nervous to leave them alone and half-relieved to be leaving them period. Once the door closed behind him, Vanessa turned to Walter. "So, Kovacs. Nice of you to join me in detention," she said teasingly, in a way that made Walter feel as if he was being made fun of.

He narrowed his eyes. "It's not like I wanted to be here," he growled, glaring at her.

"So why didn't you tell the truth about the fight?"

"I didn't want to dignify her accusation with a response," he muttered, looking away.

Vanessa didn't respond. Walter heard her get up from her seat and hoped that she would stop bugging him, but to his horror she came and sat on the edge of his desk. He strained his neck to look in the opposite direction, but the girl grabbed his chin in her hand. He tried to pull away but her fingernails dug painfully into his skin and her starburst eyes mesmerized him.

She cocked her head to one side and smiled at him. "There. That's better," she said but her voice came out as a low growl. Walter jerked his head but she held on tighter, so tight that his jaw began to ache. "Now, I want to know, Walter. Why did you help me yesterday?" she asked slowly. Rage made Walter's insides heat up. She was _toying _with him. He glared at her but refused to answer.

The girl sighed, looking disappointed. "You know, it's impolite not to answer when your asked a direct question," she told him. "You're lucky I'm a forgiving person. I'm going to give you a second chance. Why did you help me yesterday?"

Walter glared at Vanessa, refusing to be bullied. He wished he could hit her to convince her to stay away from him, but though he was absolutely burning with rage and embarrassment, he could not bring himself to raise a hand to a girl. Even this girl.

Finally, Vanessa sighed and let him go, getting up from his desk and stalking over to the window. Her back was to him, but he could tell from the rigidity of her pose, the tension in her shoulders, that she was angry. Walter glared off in the other direction and a heavy silence befell them.

Almost an hour passed before Walter had cooled off enough to turn to her reluctantly and say, "We should probably get to work cleaning this room."

There was a pause before Vanessa turned to him, a doubtful sneer on her face. "You're actually going to clean this place?" she demanded.

"Yes."

"But it's not your job!"

"It's my punishment."

"You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Tell that to them."

Vanessa stared at him in disbelief for a moment and then snorted, shaking her head. "You are strange, Walter Kovacs."

"I could say the same thing about you," Walter replied.

Vanessa blinked at him and then scurried over to lean onto his desk, looking at him with a strange, intense fascination. "What makes me strange?" she asked him.

Walter leaned back in his chair, away from her and the heat of her gaze. "Everything," he answered tensely.

Vanessa narrowed her eyes, pouting out her lower lip. "That's not much of an answer," she complained.

Walter stared at her for a moment and then half-smiled in disbelief, despite his attempts not to. "Well, what would you _prefer _I say?"

"I don't know. I was looking for more specific examples."

"You like to know what's wrong with you?"

"Who says there's something wrong with me?"

"Me."

"You're not much of an expert."

"I don't need to be."

During their conversation, they had unconsciously leaned closer to each other. Now their faces were just inches apart. Walter blinked, horrified, and stood up quickly. Vanessa straightened, too, but slower, cocking her head in confusion. "What is it?" she asked, walking toward him with slow, deliberate steps. Her voice was too innocent.

Walter started backing away quickly. "Stay away from me," he growled fiercely. He didn't like the look in her eyes. Something in it scared him.

The girl pretended to look hurt. "Why? I don't want to stay away from you," she insisted, reaching out to him.

He flinched away and felt his back press into the door behind him. "Keep away," he snarled, louder this time.

But the girl shook her head. "No," she said, pressing up against him and forcing her lips against his.

With a loud, gasping protest, Walter shoved her away forcefully, staring at her in astonishment. He wanted to ask her just what she thought she was doing but he couldn't find the words. She watched him for a moment and then reached for him again. With a low warning growl, Walter turned away from her, opening the door and slipping out. Her fingers grazed his back but couldn't catch hold before he'd disappeared down the hall.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please tell me what you think of this chapter, and if there's anything I can improve on. :)


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